Born on the 17th of April

A baby girl called Ahlam was born on April 17, 1946. The infant, born with a sparkle in her eye, had magnificent Oriental beauty and a smile that simply, would not go away. She came from a wealthy and prestigious family that boasted of heritage and traced its roots back to the beginning of civilization. The hardships of life, however, made Ahlam age quickly. Very unwillingly, she stopped breast feeding early, and learned to walk during her sixth month. She had to talk by the age of one.

In 1948, her family’s vast orchards were raided and occupied by bandits. She blamed her parents for failing to protect them. She blamed herself for not being big enough and strong enough to defend her property. Her father tried to calm her saying that someday, if not tomorrow then the day after, he would restore the family estates. She wanted to believe him. She needed to believe him. Life without dreams was un-bearable, especially for an ambitious and radiant young girl like Ahlam.

Barely one year after the disaster of the orchards, Ahlam’s previously peaceful and united household was rocked by internal divisions. Everybody was blaming everybody else for the loss of the orchards. Desperate to evade her miserable household, Ahlam began flirting with men. She was too young for romance, completely inexperienced in life. Many of her men were a terrible embarrassment indeed—unit for a young girl of her charm and social standing. Her first love affair lasted only for 137 days. Alarmed at her early delinquency, Ahlam’s parents tried to force her into marriage. Two suitors emerged, both being family neighbors. They were ugly suitors indeed. They lacked the charm to impress her. They tried hard, however, and a struggle for Ahlam emerged, which left the young girl in complete chaos and confusion. She did not want to marry. She wanted to live her life, to study, work, and meet new people. Horrified by the life that everybody tried to impose on her— very much against her will—she continued undaunted with her wild love affairs. Ahlam even dated an elderly man in 1955, who had been a long-time family friend. He had been there at her birth in 1946. A gentleman, he cared for her and treated her with respect. Young, wild, and ambitious, however, she walked out on him, saying that she wanted someone who was younger, stronger, more charismatic; someone who would liberate the orchards. Many years later, after leaving the old man heartbroken, she regretted having eloped, and abandoned someone who had truly loved her, wanting nothing in return but her happiness. Her dream husband, a young foreigner, came knocking in 1958. So impressed was she by this mysterious stranger that they embarked on a shotgun wedding in a matter of days. She did not even know him properly nor had she studied his personality to see if they were it to be husband and wife. As a matter of fact, neither had he.

To her great horror, the knight in shinning armor turned out to be a terrible husband. He never took her seriously, never listened to what she had to say, and always dismissed her as young and inexperienced. She was a trophy he liked to show off at diner parties, to impress others with his beautiful, young bride. At home, however, he treated her badly, cheated on her, and wasted her en-tire fortune. One day in 1961 she decided to walk out on him. Ahlam was only 15 years old but looked like 40. It seemed like mad-ness to leave someone she had dreamed of her entire life. She was sick, penniless, heartbroken, and greatly disappointed by her failed marriage. The best thing about Ahlam, however, was that she had an ambition that knew no bounds. She would move on, she said to herself, and her not let failure ruin her life. Ahlam became a working woman. The woman born into luxury and easy-life would now spend endless hours at the office, laboring day and night, to make ends meet. She had no other choice. There was no longer any source of income. All of what she had, and all of what her father owned, had been squandered during her marriage. She became a chain-smoker, and began to drink heavily. They were the only remedy for her long spells of depression. She spent the 1960s drifting from one love affair to the next, all of which turned out to be thundering failures. One of her suitors even raped her in 1967. Bruised and battered, she emerged from the relationship in shambles. She had lost her humanity, been treated like an animal, and had nobody to turn to for support. By 1969, it was difficult to believe that this was the same Ahlam of 1958. She resembled her in nothing but name.

Ahlam finally settled into stability in 1970. Her new husband, however, was jealous when it came to her, but she liked him nevertheless, because he promised to liberate the orchards. Despite the hardships she had gone through in life, this remained her eternal dream. Ahlam spent the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s caring for her household. She bore her husband many children. Due to increasingly difficult conditions, many of them had to travel to make a living. All of them, however, remained attached to their mother and would visit her on holidays. She tried—with her very limited means—to give them a better living. Many returned in the 1990s, but the majority remained abroad. In 2000, her husband died of old age. Ahlam quickly remarried. This time, however, her new husband was many years her junior. She had just turned 54. The passing of her husband briefly united the family and all of her children returned home, to help her move on. They welcomed the new husband because they did not want their mother to be lonely. He was almost their age, young and Westernized. He introduced her to new ideas. Ahlam began using the Internet. She got a facelift. She began learning a foreign language. She enrolled at university to study, despite her autumn age, under pres-sure from her husband, who often told her that a woman with no education, in today’s world, was a woman destined for failure.

Ahlam now sits back, drinking strong Arabic coffee, and smoking a long cigarette. At 61 she is looking back at her life in retrospect. Ahlam had gone through 11 love affairs and three marriages. Despite that, she still has a young heart. She still feels 20. “Is this a mid-age crisis?” she asks herself. It doesn’t seem like it. And even if it is, Ahlam is determined not to let it depress her. Other woman might be younger. They might be prettier or more exposed to the outside world. Ahlam boasts of experience, however, and character. She boasts of history, charm, elegance, and beauty, despite her old age. She has learned from her mistakes, knows where her weaknesses are, and is determined to change them.